A delightful "almost" end to 2009

Meegs:
WOW! I'm having SUCH a great day today ... really ... its just ... unbelievable ... I'm wondering how else it can be improved (dripping with sarcasm)

Gareth:
why, whats wrong?

Meegs:
Ihave a pair of jeans on right ... so they felt a little "funny" when I got into the car ... turns out they ripped on my fat ass and I now have a gaping hole on my ass!

LOL

something to blog about again i'm guessing

...

stop laughing

Gareth:
lol
so, now what?

Meegs:
now I pull down my top and sit here all day hoping nobody sees my lily white ass

Gareth:
lol
time to start carrying a spare pair of pants around? :P

Meegs:
no ... time to start loosing some serious weight ... if this isn't a sign then i don't know





... And thats how the year almost ended ;)

Jimmy The Fish

Ok, so I haven't done a review in a while ... thought I'd do some catching up :)

Gareth and I recently decided that we needed to go out for an early dinner (5pm on a Sunday!) and so we hopped in the car and drove through to Jimmy The Fish in Stellenbosch.

They've got insane specials on a Sunday from 5pm onwards. About 40% off of pizzas and a large percentage off of their sushi too. I'm not a sushi fan (oh stop booing me - I did try, but that damn gag reflex of mine isn't helping when the fish hits my pallet!), but Gareth is ... so he had fun :)

I had a Thai noodle dish which was heavenly and some veggie sushi ... which somehow still tasted like fish in some weird and warped way ... yes I know ... its probably all in my head.

All in all the food was divine! The service was brilliant! It was a great evening spent with great food and awesome company :)

Ok - so that's the food part done .... next time I'll tell you all about Whipstock ... and no ... that's not where some of you deviants will find crops and the like ;)

Laters!

>

OMG!!!! LOOK AT THE TIME!!!!!

.... actually its more like "LOOK AT THE DATE!!!!!" ... (feels her pulse and tries to calm herself with breathing the palates way as her heart begins to palpitate) ... (lol! as if!)

OK I was only pretending to panic ... I don't do "panic" very well. I feel panicked sometimes, but try not to show it too often ;)

so back to the "OMG-LOOK-AT-THE-TIME/DATE" comment/title .... well have you actually realized yet that its only 67 days until Christmas ... yes, you heard me! 67 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!!! That's only just over 9 weeks to go ladies and gents. That's a whopping 1608 hours! Or 96480 minutes!!!! Ok well that might be a little bit of overkill ... but 9 weeks left ...

oh dear lord ....

I have to start saving up ..... thinking of Christmas gifts for the kids, my parents, my extended family, my love .... *sigh* .... see all I'm hearing now is kaching kaching kaching ... well hopefully things will be fine and it won't be a headache but a great pleasure ...

Don't get me wrong ... I love Christmas time .... I get great pleasure from giving someone special to me a well thought out gift. That special something (no matter the cost) that tells them I was thinking of just them when I bought it or made it and it comes from my heart. Kids on the other hand don't really seem to see gifts in that light ... no, they tend to feel its more about quantity than quality. Ok, that is a bit of a generalization, but its a true one. How many times have you heard of someone buying an extremely expensive Fisher Price toy for a child only to have them use the box as a molecular-neutralization-laser-gun-thingy ... or a boat. They have excessive fun opening all those gifts and ... then what? That expectant look on the face as they peek to see if there might be another gift tucked under an anemic twig-like branch of the plastic wanna-be Christmas tree. Its preferable for them at this stage to take all their gifts from the big fat red berry of a non-existent man and move them to their bedrooms and play there while mommy has some time out with her love on the very comfy couch.

I'm actually really looking forward to having a very relaxed and enjoyable Christmas with family and new extended family this year. Its going to be beautiful. I want to decorate (if I can afford to) and make an elaborate meal. I want to make some gifts and buy some others. I want to make it awesome for EVERYONE involved. This has to be a great Christmas ... because I want to relive some of my amazing Christmas' of the past ... through my kids of course :D

I'm thinking though (if today's weather is anything to go by) that the menu has to be a cold one ... I'm not seeing snow on the horizon again until next winter and I'm SO not going to slave over a hot stove for hours cooking the turkey who has just had his ass feathers plucked for my (and my guests) benefit. No, I'm thinking cold meats - aka gammon, cold roast meat, cold roasted chicken; cold salads, breads and lots of pudding. Perhaps buying an umbrella or a gazebo of sorts would be a great idea ... then we could eat outside. I'm hoping we can do a Christmas lunch at our place this year instead of at my parents - but we'll see if that works out or not closer to the time.

And gifts? Well ... I'm very much in the mood to make some of them actually. Apricot jam, plum jam, marmalade, biscuits and perhaps a calendar for the grandparents .... well ... that's of course if I actually have time to do that all now that I'm working full time. I think we might close for a few days over the Christmas holidays, but I'm not sure yet. If that is the case and finances work in my favor, then I'm going to be baking and jam-making up a storm. I love making gifts for people. I find it very therapeutic and most people enjoy getting something that's a bit more personal and from the heart.

So what have you got planned this Christmas? Have you got any good recipes you'd like to share? Or do you need a few???

If you're stuck and have some gifts to give, I've got some splendid ideas for you! Why not have a photo shoot and use pics from that shoot to have Christmas cards, gift tags, wrapping paper or calendars made? Yes, I'm a one stop shop for all those things. I can even have puzzles and mugs done up with your pics. Or how about a few bottles of wine with a personalized label using one of your pics? That is also available :)

If you're interested, let me know - you know where to find me :)

Anyway, best I sign off for now ... keep in touch!

xxx
Meegs

As I've matured, I've learnt .....

I've learnt that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learnt that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learnt that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion (not proof) to destroy it.

I've learnt that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learnt that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learnt that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learnt that we are responsible for what we do ... unless we're celebrities.

I've learnt that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learnt that 99% of the time when something isn't' working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learnt that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

(Thanks to Marlese for these gems!)

Its been a while!

No, I promise I didn't fall off the face of the earth. I be alive! I be alive!

It has been just over a month since my last post. I've been working hard and settling into my job - which I am loving to bits!!! What an awesome bunch of people to be working with! I've set myself up in a cozy space and have made myself very at home - yeah yeah, as only I can.

A lot has happened over the last month. Besides the job. I've been enjoying my relationship with Gareth even more ... its been such an amazing experience for me. We sat down with the kids last week Thursday and spoke to them about him moving in. It was the cutest thing to see their spontaneous responses. Raechel bounced up and down and said "Yay! Uncle Gareth is moving in forever!" Danielle was telling us how she's so "cool" with it. Ethan's only concern was that he wouldn't find a space in the bed if Uncle Gareth was there, after which we both assured him there would always be plenty of for him AND his sisters. Famous last words! G and I were lying down - me reading and him faffing on his laptop when the next moment we had all three of them tackling us on the bed for a rather large cuddle session filled with loads of tickling and laughter! LOL! What fun!

Life is great all around at the moment - I've been so happy, content and blessed over the last few months. I couldn't have wished for more! The only downer I encountered recently was news that my friend had to deliver her stillborn daughter. My heart truly breaks for her. She is such an amazing, wonderful and loving person, that for something like this to happen to her and her husband is unspeakable. It really makes you sit back and take stock of your life. Where you are and what you have. Makes you value every moment. Life is so unpredictable and most times its very unfair. My new friend Alison said it quite beautifully one evening: "Life's a bitch because if it was a slut it would be easy."

So what have I learnt over this last month? I've learnt that terrible things happen to really amazing people, but that those people will survive and continue to push through because the ones they've lost wouldn't want them to stop for anything. I've learnt that I love doing what I do in the work place. I love making people laugh. I've learnt that feeling love, affection, adoration, tenderness, friendship and all those wonderful things are mine for the taking in an unconditional way. I've been shown again how resilient children really are. I've been made even more aware of how amazing, caring, loving and awesome my friends are.

So all around, life is moving forward swiftly. Its being very good to me right now and I'm loving it. I'm just taking it day by day and enjoying the ride so far. I'm hoping that good times will not end and I will continue to make decisions that, at times are not particularly comfortable to make, but will take me to a place that I want to be. The "big picture". It might not be what other people "envisioned" for my life, but thankfully its not about them (since its my life to live). Its about what I need to do to gain the happiness that I deserve. Its about what I need to do to be the example I feel my children need to have.

So, I'll raise my glass of pink bubbles to the powers that be and be grateful for all I have, all I've gained and all I will achieve in the future. And to all of you along for the ride .... buckle up, keep your hands in the vehicle at all times and if you need to use the barf bag, its a little to your left ... no ... your other left ...

xxx

Hi ho hi ho its off to work we go :)

What can I say about the new job..... well ..... I'm LOVING it so far. I started on Tuesday (due to Monday being a public holiday). Yes there are nerves involved, but seriously ... this is going to be a great place to work and a great company to grow with. What it involves is me doing admin, book keeping and some HR things. Its a very challenging and exciting place to be.

My life has definitely taken a new direction and I'm very excited about it!

Yes yes yes, I'll keep you posted!
xxx

Ok you can release your thumbs now :)

Thanks to everyone who sent me all the good luck. I got the job :) :) :)

I am now officially a working lass again. Keep me in your thoughts for the first few weeks so that I get into the hang of things quickly :)

Holding thumbs update

Thanks to all those who have been holding their thumbs for me ... I know it makes it difficult to do those odd things around the house and office that one generally needs thumbs for, but hopefully its going to be for a really good cause :)

I heard today that I need to go for a second interview for that job I'm gunning for - now I'm going to meet with the other director/partner in the business. God willing I will wow him with my awesomeness and all will be well .... who knows, I might even be an official working girl by Monday next week! (From my lips to God's ears)

So, if you wouldn't mind still holding those thumbs for me I'd be ever so grateful and will let you know as soon as you can let go again so that you may return to a life with fully functioning thumbs. In the mean time keep using the other digits on your hands ;)

Restaurant Review: Bukhara, Primi Piatti and Panarotti's

It’s been a while since I’ve done a restaurant review, so I’d better catch up a bit!

I’ll start with this one: Bukhara in Stellenbosch

What fun this night was! We went to surprise a friend for his 50^th birthday. I like this restaurant a lot. They always present you with top class food and the service is generally exceptional. Yes, it is a bit pricey, but it’s well worth the money you pay out to have a decent plate of curry. Their portions are also a wonderful size.

So last time we ate there, the birthday boy had a Vindaloo … needless to say it’s HOT HOT HOT!!! His poor wife had to deal with him blasting the roof off of their house for a few days after that and had to keep freezing the toilet paper. For those carnivores out there, this is a great place to eat because the curry they serve you has copious amounts of succulent meat in it. I, on the other hand, like meat but don’t always want that much of it. So this time around I ordered a vegetable curry. I just added some of my dates meat to it when I felt like some (lucky for me he was eating the lamb which was very yummy indeed). I was very impressed with this vegetable curry … it was delicious … although certain people were not as impressed with it. Some at the table said it made the burn of their curry come out even more. Well, I didn’t feel a thing so it couldn’t have been that bad! ;)

The only crap thing about their menu is their desserts. Personally I am not a fan of them at all. Some had the ice-cream … which is actually horrid in my opinion … some had the bread and butter pudding (an Indian take on an old favourite) – which isn’t half bad actually … could use a bit more “sweet” though. I stuck to my old favourite, Dom Pedro … he has always worked wonders for me … especially when he is loaded with a double tot of my favourite liqueur!

It was a fun night and we didn’t get kicked out for being too raucous either – which was nice for a change ;)

Bukhara gets 5 stars from me – just because I love it!

Ok, next on the list is: Primi Piatti, Somerset West

Yes people, they’re actually still around and haven’t closed down. They’ve moved to the Vodacom Golf Park near Somerset Mall. Sadly. To be honest, it’s a bit of a crap venue to have such a cool restaurant. I think it would be better to have them move to where Cape Town Fish Market is (you know … right there by Ster Kinekor in Somerset Mall) … I’m sure that CTFM wouldn’t mind since they are always empty anyway and should probably just close shop.

Anyway, as always the food at Primi was great. I had really delicious pasta as a main meal, and we started with a garlic pita with caramelized onions. All in all it was a good meal. The only problem with Primi now is the venue … they could have done so much better with the choice. It just seems so out of the way now. Surely they would have made more money staying in the mall. Although, I’m sure that the mall has higher rental prices, hence the move (???) …

Oh and by the way, WHEN did they stop serving that awesome bread basket before the meal … you know the one … you could slop a whole lot of balsamic vinegar and olive oil onto your side plate and dip the bread into it and munch away while enjoying the (hopefully) great company and good conversation. I felt a little robbed by the fact that there was no bread … just olive oil and balsamic vinegar … and to be quite frank, that doesn’t go down well without the bread.

Oh well, I still love the food though and would still recommend it.

Primi Piatti gets 3 stars from me – nice food, crap venue

Ok, let’s see … next on the list is: Panarotti’s, Somerset Mall

We took the kids to go eat there on a Wednesday … why specifically a Wednesday??? Well, it’s “Kids Eat Free” on a Wednesday. This of course only works if you don’t have kids like mine who prefer eating more than the little bits they give and love the adult menu. I felt very sorry for our poor waiter, Effort (I kid you not). He was very polite, well mannered and very helpful. Unfortunately Effort was not having a very good night. His orders where a little messed up on the timing side of things. Poor guy. I will assume the kitchen had something to do with that though. And I will also assume that it might have been Effort’s first night as a waiter. Bad timing on Efforts part, as Wednesday’s happen to be a busy night in this establishment … with lots of grumpy parents and hungry children racing against the bed-time clock.

The kids did get a free meal, but we had them put straight into doggy-bags to bring home while they ate their adult meals instead. It’s a shame that the dessert is also not free though … just the main meal … although, that can save money … if you have kids that eat like birds. My youngest eats like a bird, so she ate free. Everyone really enjoyed their meals. I really enjoyed my very large portion of tequila flamed chicken pasta, even though my mouth did catch fire from all the chilli in it … or it could have been from the pepper in it … although it felt like chilli. I was looking very flushed … as if my inner tomato had decided to show itself. It was delicious :)

I did note (to my horror) that they have a chicken and mayo pizza available now. That is just disgusting! I’m sure one could generally enjoy something like that, but have you ever had anything with chicken and mayo at Panarotti’s??? Unless you like excessive amounts of mayo, you will not enjoy it. I had a meal (the name of it I forget) that consists of garlic pita bread, served with sliced avo and then chicken and mayo on a bed of lettuce. The avo and the pita was awesome … the chicken was floating in mayo, but after picking the pieces of chicken cartilage out from the mix and removing some of the mayo it was quite tasty. Yes, I did tell the waiter to tell them to perhaps shred their chicken better (perhaps ask someone who has feeling in their fingertips and can see to do it) and perhaps hold off of being so heavy handed with the mayo when he asked if I enjoyed the meal. One shouldn’t lie when one is paying for something … right??? (I promise I used way more tact and was very nice about it though). I used to love that dish, but I won’t be ordering that again anytime soon.

The other problem I have with this place is that they’ve renovated it to make more space perhaps for the tons of people they need to cram in there for all their fab specials. I don’t have a problem with renovating – it looks nice and all … the problem I have is that they sacrificed the toilets for the space. That’s a bit of a problem. ESPECIALLY if you are sitting there on your own with your child and your child then needs the toilet. You have to walk out of the restaurant and go to the mall toilets opposite the entrance to the Spur, which are the closest ones available. This is an idiotic thing to do people. As a mother who is always concerned for her child’s well being, you cannot in this day and age let your kid go toddling off to the toilet by themselves while you are sitting there waiting for them to come back. You can’t leave your bag and shopping at the table either because some knob might decide to do some affirmative shopping at your table. So what do you do? Personally I would call the manager over and tell them it’s a stupid arrangement and was not very thoughtful and they will now either sit at my table and keep an eye on my stuff (and God help them if they move) or they will take my child to the toilet themselves and bring them back safely or lose a limb. Luckily for the manager that hasn’t had to happen yet.

Panarotti’s gets 3 stars from me – it’s so much better than going to the Spur, but that chicken mayo thing and toilet issue is a bit much. Otherwise its great food and can be good family time :)

So there it is … three reviews in one post … aren’t I a clever munchkin!!!

Holding thumbs...

Yes, not as nice as holding hands, but this is what I need from you all for now ;)

I've got a job interview next week Wednesday for a half day position ... so I'm holding thumbs for me too because it would be PERFECT if I get this job!!! I'd be able to go to work (which I do miss) and then still have time to focus on my photography too! AND I'll be able to pay the bills too! Whoohoo!!!

So, please please please hold thumbs for me and I'll keep you posted as to what happens :)

xxx
M

PS. Caz ... I'll try post more often just for you ;)

I'm smiling, that alone should scare you...

Tell me I'm not alone in the world and the only one who does this. There are times when I type something and the spelling goes all wrong (because I type uber fast and all) and then when I read what I'm typing I hose myself laughing because it changes the whole meaning of the sentence. Like the heading I typed before I started the post ... it was meant to say "A Calm Descends" ... instead it said "A Clam Descends". Well now that could be taken in so many ways knowing my aversion to seafood and all. Although I don't think the clam would make it to the "descending" part at all ... it would make a glorified ascent in projectile fashion. Clams and mussels and oysters a.k.a. nasal mucus in a shell.

So I'm still officially "unemployed", BUT I'm doing something to keep me busy. I've been getting my photography business off the ground. I've got some big plans, but its baby steps to start with. I'm still looking for a half day admin position to help with finances. I'm even learning a new skill ... Pastel! Its an amazing program! Anyway, thanks to my friend Sunny who is taking the time out of her busy schedule to teach me! (Love ya babes!)

Oh! There's more! I've started dating (giggles uncontrollably)!!! He's a great guy and I'm loving spending copious amounts of time with him.

So that's a mini-update for now ...

Gits should be shot at dawn with no trial!

Is it just me or are most people just full of crap?!

This journey that I have recently been on (if you're not clued up read from my very first post onwards) has been such an eye opener to me about who are real friends and who are not. The thing that gets me every single time is the fact that 90% of people are so bored with their own lives that they have to find meaning in them by trying to bad mouth or gossip about others. Its pathetic and sad on so many levels. Yes, I feel strongly about this because I'm not the type of person who's going to open my mouth and share with others what I've been told in confidence or spread a rumour that may or may not be true. I just wish everyone else was the same too. Unfortunately that's not going to happen because it seems like its human nature for most to be complete gits!

So here's how I handle those types - and you'll know exactly who they are in your life unless you're ridiculously gullible:

• I don't trust them as far as I can throw them (which with my current state of fitness is not very far at all)
• I don't tell them ANYTHING that I don't want spread around.
• I generally avoid spending time with them because they also have the ability to drain all my energy and happiness (kind of like the Dementors in the Harry Potter books)
  

If you know some of those types, then raise your glass with me and lets toast to them by saying "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your genitals and plague you for the rest of your life."

If you are one of those types, then for the love of all that is good and kind, GET A LIFE and stop trying to stuff everyone elses up just because you feel inadequate in yours! The wheel turns people - what you give out in your daily walk you are going to get back again. Sow seeds of discontent and poison and you're going to get it back big time. Get some back bone and learn to bite your tongue.

Right, that's me for ranting today. I feel much lighter now :)

M
xxx

Agony Aunt: Part 1

Judes has left a new comment on your post "Revenge of the Pediculus Humanus Capitis": OK, mine is about getting Toddlers to have their lunch time snooze without a world war!!!

Thanks for the question, Judes. Toddlers are a tricky species indeed ... very unpredictable to the untrained eye.

My kids had their moments when it came to napping and would often manifest when I wanted to put them down. The unfortunate news for a busy mother is that these little Klingons tend to grow out of their naps and one has to adjust the times you originally had planned for those naps. I had my moments of being a lazy mommy and was at times probably way too laid back. To be honest, I was never really good at an extreme schedule at all. Not even with breastfeeding - that was all "you know where it is, if you're hungry let me know" - a.k.a "demand feeding". It worked for me. When it came to nap times, I would try make sure that my little ones wouldn't go to sleep after 3:30pm because they'd be hell to put down in the evening when I wanted some much needed "adult time". So I'd try make sure they would be napping by about 1:30 and give them about a hour to two hours depending on how much I felt they needed at the time. You know what I mean by that ... we mothers just know what our little ones need. We can tell when they have a temperature or are feeling under the weather - by just looking at their eyes and kissing their foreheads. When they're tired, or when they're just plain naughty. And don't try tell me all children are angels (you obviously don't have any if you say this) ... its those horns that keep the halo up.

Each child is an individual and sometimes you need to find what works for your little one. Just because your friend has the ability to put her child down and say sleep and they obey instantly doesn't mean you will be able to do it too. Besides, you'll probably find it interesting to know that mothers who say they have it all under control often don't and are just hiding it because they want to seem to have it all together. Not helpful, ladies - don't be a fool - talk about your experiences with each other, be there for each other and be real with each other. You have to find what will work for your specific child in your family unit. It may be lying with them for 5 minutes and reading them a short story in a very soothing and calm voice. It may be singing them a soft sweet lullaby - make one up if you don't know one and don't worry if you can't sing - your child won't know this for many years to come. You're bound to have a few "hits and misses" along the way to finding what will work for you or you may hit the jackpot and get it right away. Either way don't loose hope.

The one thing that has kept me sane throughout this journey of motherhood is keeping the following in mind:

1. I have never been a mother to this child at the current age he/she is at right now.
2. I'm learning as I go along since these Klingons didn't come with a manual.
3. They have never been at the current age they are at right now, so they don't know any more than I do and are hence learning as they go along too.
4. Each child is different, so what worked for the one won't necessarily work for the next.
5. You have to learn to laugh at yourself or you'll go insane.
6. Don't try compete with others - just remember that out there somewhere is another mother probably looking at you and saying "I wish I knew how she does it, I'm a terrible mother!"
   

I'm sure that there are many people out there who will give you tons of advice - take what you need and walk away from the rest.


Here are some websites/articles you may find interesting on the topic of sleeping and napping for toddlers:

http://www.parentingtoddlers.com/Baby-sleep-methods.html

http://babyparenting.about.com/od/sleeping/a/bedtimeresist.htm

http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/sleeping/a/sleepbook.htm

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/228/When-Toddlers-Grow-Out-of-Their-Midday-Nap/

http://books.google.co.za/books?id=NkGOP8owXAgC&pg=PA51&lpg=PA51&dq=midday+naps+for+toddlers&source=bl&ots=XtrOxrRb9n&sig=epR2QRgQCEsyZ2z5CU1mEpGYS3M&hl=en&ei=gW5ISqvHMuWetwfEnvmMCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3

http://life.familyeducation.com/nap-time/sleep/52587.html


And hey, if all else fails ... medicate! ;)

Restaurant Review: Jimmy's Killer Prawns

For some people reading this it might be a surprise that I went to a restaurant that serves mainly fish because I don't generally allow it near me after some rather horrid experiences with it. Lets just say lock-jaw and food poisoning d0 NOT go down well.

Anyway, I've recently started hanging out with some fabulous people once a month for dinner at different restaurants - which is a lot of fun. This time around we went to Jimmy's Killer Prawns in Somerset West Main Road. It was a cool night so it was lovely to be seated so close to the fireplace. They do have a play area outside for children (although I didn't get to see it because it was cold and dark outside). The also have a play room for kids inside (that too I didn't get to see because - yay - I didn't have kids with me!).

We had a table of 14 people so we were quite rowdy - we were one of the first tables to arrive there and the last to leave. More on that bit later. The problem that some of the people had at the table was understanding the menu - not nuclear physics, but not exactly the most user friendly menu I've ever seen. Our food was not too bad. Since I don't eat fish, I had the lamb chops with a baked potato. It was delicious - the basting sauce they cooked them in was heavenly. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food. The dessert on the other hand was very disappointing. I love chocolate mousse ... its my favorite dessert. So I ordered one. It was not only runny and obviously far from set. It also tasted like one of those Moirs Instant Puddings. Some of the others had a chocolate brownie dessert which seemed to be much nicer from the small bit I managed to taste from my lovely neighbour. I do recall having a Dom Pedro with a double tot of Kahlua .... that was not too bad.

It must have been between 22h30 and 23h00 when we paid the bill and stayed sitting there chatting and laughing loudly. We were intrigued by a couple sitting in the bar area who were obviously very high on some illegal substance and were amazed that they actually were able to come out to eat at all. We were eventually the last table there and the staff were gathering in the bar area while the manager started flashing the lights in the restaurant ... a clear sign that we were now expected to leave. I was wondering how that manager would feel if one of us had pressed the emergency button on the alarm pad that was twinkling its lights at us so invitingly. The idea of him having to stay longer while he explained to the police that he had no emergency was enough to make us all grin after his rude display. Yet, it seems that none of us had the balls to do so. Oh well ... maybe next time ... NOT!

So all in all, the main course was good and the dessert was crap. I highly doubt I would ever eat there again as dessert is the most important part of a meal for me. However, the company was amazing as usual and I look forward to our next night out.

Jimmy's Killer Prawns gets a 2 out of 5 stars from me...

Revenge of the Pediculus Humanus Capitis

"Revenge of the WHAT??!?!?!?!" No, relax ... its ok ... we're not being invaded by aliens (even though I put that request in quite some time ago).

Here is the lowdown on this vile spawn of satan:

http://www.health24.com/medical/Head2Toe/777-778-781,11855.asp#art_3

OMG my scalp is itching just thinking about it ... and NO, I do not have a pediculus humanus capitis invasion thank you very much.

Ok, so why have I brought up these vile little beasts of burden??? Well this fine sunny winters morning I received a phone call from the ex to say that the preschool where the littlest Klingon goes for higher learning had called to say: "Please fetch your lice infested child immediately before we get it". Ok I'm sure they didn't say it like that, but that sounds more dramatic. So I went to fetch her armed with my supply of Controlice (yes this is what you need to be using ... but before I tell you more about the product, you have to hear more ...). I whisked my infested Klingon back to her father's house (its his turn with the kids) and promptly started spraying the wonderful ammunition onto her locks. We wait for all of 15 minutes and then we go to wash the head with normal shampoo (no need for conditioner). But alas ... this moment would not be complete without a burst pipe up the road resulting in there being all but a few drops of rather icy water dripping uselessly out of the tap. Right, so now what? Well, we head off to the kitchen where I make the Klingon lie on the counter like a large leg of lamb waiting to be carved up and served with roast potatoes, sweet carrots and .... yes ok I'm hungry right now .... where was I ... ok so there she lies crying her eyes out because she feels totally abused right about now (not realising this wasn't were the horror would end). Her head hanging over the prep bowl I managed to get enough water out of the two kitchen sinks and the kettle to make washing the hair do-able. Once this was finally done we went outside and sat in the nice warm sun and started combing out the nits ... yes ... nits ... omg, does it ever end!!! Nits = lice eggs just in case you were wondering. Tiny little white things that some people may dismiss as the results of a flaky scalp ... but these little buggers don't come out of the hair with a good shaking. No. You have to comb out about 2 cm of hair at a time ... its painfully time consuming. So little by little they are removed with much tugging and threats of shaving the whole mangled oily mass right off if she doesn't stop moaning about it. So the nits are 90% gone and whats left will hatch and be dealt with swiftly with more of my weapon of choice.

Talking about this product. Its great. All natural, so it doesn't cause children to convulse and die. For more information on it go take a look at the information on the following website:

http://www.babiesonline.co.za/Products/23

If you ever have this problem this is what I would suggest you use. If you're not sure what you're looking for, this is what it looks like:


Now ... where are my agony aunt questions you bunch of scaredy cats! Ok ok... if you have "mother/child" questions you feel too doff to ask someone else about be assured your anonymity will be secure and question answered promptly .... (dare dare dare) .... trust me, I've been asked some whoppers in my day! More on that next time.....

Falsey's and Snobs ....

No, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth ... promise!

One good thing about being at home while in-between jobs is that I get to fetch the Klingons from school and I get to watch my little rugby star playing his games! I haven't had the pleasure of seeing my boy doing sport in quite some time. Its interesting for me to see how the mothers that are there on the side of the field or just outside the school gate as the bell rings at the end of the day for their Klingons are still very much the same as they were before I started working. So not much has changed. The snobs are still trying to block the sun from shining by putting their noses in the air (hopefully to trip in the process). The "falseys" are still being as false as ever ... "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! Omg!!! Its been forever!!!! Looooooooooove what you're wearing, where have you beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen????????????" ... and as they turn to their clone gang they gossip about whatever you might not have told them and how they know everything. And then of course you get those delightful malignant tumors that just want to suck the life out of you ... those are generally the ones I like to avoid. I love teasing the "falsey's" like one would tease a pitbull with a little kitten. Throw out a bit of juicy information that you want everyone to know but don't want to tell them yourself because the twists that "falsey's" come up with are generally very entertaining indeed. The snobs I find are generally easy to taunt ... or trip ... depending on how high they have their noses up of course. Its also lots of fun to get into peoples comfort zones ... most people that act snobbish around you are in fact not ... they are generally quite scared of venturing out and meeting new people ... inferiority complexes and the like. I remember how much fun I had with just such a group of ladies when my son started at a play school a long time ago....

Walking into the school grounds, I would often pass "Beth" (name changed to protect the innocent). Now I'm generally a very happy and friendly person and would greet Beth with a wave and a "hey!" whenever we passed each other at drop off or pick up times. Yet each time Beth would look at me as if I had a large piece of green mush protruding from my left incisor. Once I realised that I did not in fact have something in my teeth, I decided to take some action and mess with her chi. I walked right up to her, grabbed her shoulders and smiled broadly, flashing my squeaky clean teeth at her, and said: "Hey Beth! How are you!?" Well she mumbled her response through a very tight smile and said: "Fine! Thank you! Ok ..... um .... bye"
Well after a few weeks of this smash and grab maneuver, she actually started coming up to me to say hi before I even had a chance to! So it worked! And we're still very good friends to this day.

If that doesn't work for you, perhaps you can drop kick some sense into that wanna-be snob's ass. (Now now! Don't get your nickers in a knot ... I don't expect you to actually kick someone ... that could ruin your shoes!)

I feel like doing some sort of sarcastic agony aunt column ... anyone brave enough to send me a question? I'll post anything that might come up from that question on here ... so keep visiting and bring your friends.

I'll leave you with this thought:


Laters!
xxx

Stormy weather and klingon invasions

Last night went well ... I did manage to eventually get all of three hours sleep due to a rather large Klingon invasion in the land of DDP (Duck Duvet & Pillows).

The storm rolled in with great gusto last night. Lightening flashing all around and rumbling thunder thrown into the mix for good measure. It was loud. It was cold. It woke up a Klingon with an impressive fear of thunder and lightening. No amount of telling her its just the big guy upstairs playing his drum kit for the angels again, accompanied of course with excessive mirror ball action, would calm her fears. So eventually I had the littlest Klingon of all pushed against my side in an attempt to raise my core body temperature (as if the quack feathers didn't aid that cause enough) and the oldest Klingon lying across the foot of my bed. And no foot was safe either .... every loud drum roll left her groping my legs and smothering my feet with her stomach. It was like wearing an over sized pair of human slipper socks ... only problem was these socks yelp with fear and wriggle around a lot. Not conducive to a good nights sleep.

Finally the storm passed and at 3am I decided to move the Klingons to their own beds due to being sleep deprived. I must have somehow lost my superpowers because for the life of me I couldn't pick up my biggest (almost my height) Klingon .... perhaps I do need to get to the gym again ....

I eventually got them both to their own beds and then I was able to stretch out and close my eyes for about an hour or so before the invasion began again ..............

Joys of being a protector of Klingons!

And so the cookie crumbles.....

Right ... so we moved our office from Milnerton to Stellenbosch on Monday 25th (pay day - YAY!). Stunning farm we moved to - the big boss owns it of course. So Tuesday we get called in to a staff meeting .... now the Cape Town branch has been closed officially and all the staff retrenched.

Yip ... I'm no longer an employee ... I'm now self-employed (*cough cough*) ...

So now what? Well, I'm not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself ... I'm going to take this raging bull by its crooked horns and whip it into some tasty steaks! Anyone up for a braai?

Plan of action for now is to get my tax number so they can pay me out my pension fund (which would definitely aid the "pay off the debts" fund), get my UIF sorted out and find another job. I'm seriously thinking of finding a half day job and then starting up the photography again. I love doing photography - it's a passion of mine. What I'm in the process of organising is my very own website for my photography business. I'm totally amped to get that going. There is a slight chance of acquiring some funds to get it off the ground too ... slight ... but there ... its a "wait and see" game right now. If the funds do happen, I'm going to be putting some of it towards equipment and some towards further education to aid the business. Make sure I'm all I can be and all that jazz.

So all in all the cookie may have crumbled, but from what I've heard, "they" say that the calories fall out of the cookies when they crumble and the crumbs are therefore calorie free which means they are perfect to munch up guilt free!!!! How awesome is that!!!!

Will keep you posted .....

The latest in cell phone technology

If you, like some people out there in today's fabulous society of affirmative shoppers, feel that answering your phone while you are sitting in your car leaves you at risk of being hijacked or killed, then this is what you need to get yourself ......


Good luck explaining it to the cops before they shoot your ass down for drawing a weapon.

Did you know ....

• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
  (Hardly seems worth it.)
  
  
• If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
  (Now that's more like it!)
  
  
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
  (O.M.G.!)
  
  
• A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
  (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
  
  
• A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
  (Creepy.)
  (I'm still not over the pig.)
  
  
• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
  (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
  
  
• The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.
  (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
  
  
• The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
  (30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
  
  
• The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
  (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
  
  
• Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
  (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
  
  
• Butterflies taste with their feet.
  (Something I always wanted to know.)
  
  
• Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
  (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
  
  
• Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
  (Okay, so that would be a good thing)
  
  
• A cat's urine glows under a black light.
  (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
  
  
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
  (I know some people like that.)
  
  
• Starfish have no brains
  (I know some people like that too.)
  
  
• Polar bears are left-handed.
  (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
  
  
• Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
  (What about that pig??)
  

Thanks for the email Mom! (yes that's right, this is the stuff my mother sends me!)

FML

Right, so we all get those days where we're thinking "oh my word, could anything else go wrong in this lifetime!?" or "I'm going to crawl into a hole and just DIE!"

Well there's this website called "F* My Life" ... I know I know ... what a title! But you should go read some of the stuff on there! No no no, its nothing overly dodge I promise.

Here's an example:

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML

...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

So yes, there are things in there that will make you think twice about your problems and you're bound to get a good giggle or two out of it too. (Just click on the title of this post and it will take you to the website)

Enjoy!

Cruella De Vil: Part 1

It was a dark, cold and quiet morning. I had to wake up early, so I had set my alarm to go off at 5am. The first annoying buzzing sound from my cell phone alarm went off at 5am - I promptly snoozed it ... twice ... and snuggled deeper within my warm feather duvet.

I must have switched it off instead of snoozing it because when I finally surfaced from under my duvet, clutching my cell phone in my right hand, I noticed that it was just after 6am! Great! I was running late ... again! I woke up my ever present klingon (aka Raechel) and put a warm top on her so that we could go fetch Anthea (our cleaning goddess) in Macassar. I'm not at my finest at that hour of the morning and have the tendency to look a bit like Medusa having a bad hair day. Yet I do not scare my klingons who are now used to it. Anthea also does not scare easily as she has known me since I was about 14 years old ... nothing can scare her anymore thanks to me.

Anyway, Raechel and I fetched Anthea and we started our short, and generally uneventful, drive back home.

The road twisted up the hill between the farmlands, total darkness surrounded us. All of a sudden, Bambi bounded out from the left, bent on denting my bumper! I was so surprised to see Bambi in that neck of the woods as I hit on brakes - and no, I wasn't speeding! Yes, I know it was Bambi because if someone had a dog like that they'd be on TV by now. Now I say again ... it was dark ... you never know who's out there (how's that for paranoia and too many horror movies!) and I was already running a good 30-40 minutes behind schedule, so Ms De Vil here didn't slow down or stop to see if Bambi was still breathing. I got home and inspected my car....

The bumper was cracked and some of Bambi's fur was jutting out of it from an odd angle making my car look like it had been taking Bob Martins instead of Unleaded. There was a smear of mud (... MUD not blood! ...) on the front passenger door and something that looked suspiciously like crap. Poor Bambi must have shat himself on impact. My front vent thingy which usually sits so snuggly in the position it was originally placed in, was now dangling at a very precarious angle. I promptly removed it and tossed it in my boot.

Needless to say, the day was almost a total waste of make-up, but I got through it. Driving up the same road later that evening on my way home from work, I kept a steady eye out for anything furry lying on the side of the road. There was no Bambi to be seen. I'm thinking either it was just a flesh wound and he managed to limp back to his pozzy, or he became someones dinner. It would be a darn expensive dinner to say the least! Not for the family dining on venison, but for me! Ms De Vil! Who's insurance policy is still so new they're upping her damn excess payment by R1000! Karma is such a bitch!

I took the car in to be assessed by the insurance company. They inspected the whole car and told me the bumper will have to be replaced and they'll need to fix the door too ... why? Well it seems that Bambi was not trying to buff the door with his ass ... no he was denting it. So he left a dent and crapped all over my door ... which now has to be fixed and resprayed. Oh the joys! I can just feel how light my wallet is getting as time ticks by. The bank is going to repossess my debit card!

Oh well ... so the saga will continue and I shall keep you posted....

Yours faithfully,
Cruella de Vil

Cape Town Light Show 21 May 2009

Ya, I should really start getting up earlier in the morning so that I could capture pics like these! (Thanks for the pics Joanne!)

Ohhhhh ... so this is what a wolverine looks like without fur....

I went to watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine on Tuesday evening.

Now I'm a big "comic-book-turned-movie" fan ... I loved watching the Spiderman movies, Batman movies and Iron Man to mention a few. But I'll admit ... that alone is not the attraction for me in X-Men. The eye-candy has been such a bonus! I'm a Hugh Jackman fan, what can I say!

"who took my bubble bath!?" (doesn't this remind you of bath time with the kids?)

oh yes ladies ... under all that water he is buck naked ... don't believe me .... then look below...



See ... I told you.... yes that be Mr Jackman's finely sculpted ass...

This movie was lots of fun. Besides getting to see Hugh Jackman naked, there was a fair amount of action and a storyline one could sit back and enjoy without having to think too hard. I like far-fetched movies. Hell, if I want reality I can stay at home! I go to the movies to get lost in a world that is total fiction.


Ok, now you tell me if you found this man kneeling naked in your barn if you wouldn't help him ... oh my sweet giddy aunt! I think I'd build myself a barn on the off chance he may come pop in for a visit! *Growl*

So besides the delicious Mr Jackman there are some new characters that have made their first appearance in the X-Men world. The delightfully buff looking Ryan Reynolds plays someone ... yes I forget the characters name ... well, excuse me! I was a little blinded by his awesome six pack and quirky sense of humor! So I found you a picture of him and his comic book character .....


*sigh* .... oh I think his character's name could be Deadpool? ... Yes that's it ... Wade Wilson aka Deadpool aka Weapon XI. Ok, hang on ... I need to move this screen up ... all I see are his abs as I'm typing this and damn it they're a huge distraction!!!


...


Nope ... now all I see is crotch ....



...


Ok ... so now as I was saying. This movie introduces one or two other characters too ... and it seems like they're going to be bringing movies out in the not so distant future (2012) about some of these characters. That should be fun!!!

If you haven't seen it, don't worry about what some of the critics are saying - go make up your own mind and stop being led around like a mindless minion! I really enjoyed it and I'm sure you might too!

All in all, I'm giving this movie a thumbs up. So go grab a box of popcorn and go and enjoy some time off from reality ;)