ARE YOU FRIGGEN KIDDING ME?! I'm with you on this one Caz ... "Shrink you bastards, SHRINK!!!"
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/05/090505-spiders-bigger-global-warming.html
I have a problem with anything that has more legs than a cat or a dog. Its kind of why I prefer "camping" in a hotel or B&B with running hot water and flushing toilets. Doom is my friend ... Baygon is too ... and if you are a bunny hugger and don't like killing things you can kick the spiders convulsing vile carcass under the fridge just so you don't have to see it jerking around and feel bad about it. I mean really, have you seen how many of these vile spawn of satan are actually immune to Doom!!! IMMUNE!!! What the HELL! And I'm soooooooooo sorry ... I'm not about to get my perfectly gorgeous Nine West's full of spider guts by slamming them (from a respectable distance of course) into a wall. THAT would just be stupid. Generally I see a rain spider and I close the door to that room and hope I don't have to go in there any time soon. Bit of a problem if you have one bathroom and are in need of a good release. And those buggers are UBER strong too. How do I know that, you ask? Well make yourself semi comfy (Caz, grab a barf bag) and I'll tell you all about it.....
Ready? (oh stop being such a baby ... just read it and get the heebiejeebies later!)
Ok, so one calm and perfectly lovely evening I walk into my en-suite bathroom in a house I was staying in (this was a while ago btw ... at least 6 years ago). So I walk in there all innocent like, just minding my own business, on the way to take care of some business, when ... WHAM!!! ... I stop dead in my tracks. After some mild self-resuscitation, I backed out slowly and stealthily so as not to disturb the rather large arachnid on my shower door .... HOLY CRAP ... it was HUGE. It was UGLY. It was staring at me. It was going to EAT ME!!!! I all but levitated at an excruciating speed and asked the men in my living room if one of them would be so kind as to come and dispose of a MONSTER in my bathroom as I needed to pee and my eyeballs were floating and it was going to get ugly if they didn't. They ignored me. I was contemplating peeing in one of the pot plants when one of them saved the day. He decided to catch it ..................... I know what you're thinking ..... is he totally MENTAL ... that thing could chew his face off and my money was on the spider. He moved in for the grab ... he grabbed ... he caught it .... and promptly threw it with all his strength into the toilet to flush it down. But alas, not only was this devils spawn FIGHTING to get out of his grasp, it was NOT going to be flushed to the local sewage plant this night. Yes, it jumped right out of the toilet bowl. By this time my would be hero was getting a little freaked out by the actions of this vile beast. One last attempt saw him grabbing the mutant eight-legged freak and throw it out the window behind the toilet. As he slammed the window shut, we heard a thud and noticed that it was against the glass of the window. I decided to sleep in the guest room that evening knowing that the mutant would try getting in again and eat me. I didn't see it again ... and took great delight in the idea that some mutant vampire bat had nabbed it for a midnight snack. Ok don't go bursting my bubble now and telling me that there are no mutant vampire bats!!!!
Moral of the story? Make Doom/Baygon/Target your best friend and keep your Nine West's clean....
2 comments:
Craig laughed so hard when I read this to him, mainly because I say the exact same thing whenever there is a spider around. I am convinced they are out to get me. No placid good-will creature would look the way they do and stare at me the way they do.
I feel that if they intend to do us no harm then they should stay well away from us as we do from them!
As for the Doom and Baygon... they are my constant companions. I don't know how anyone could live without them.
I find camping very enjoyable, it's nature that bugs me. I would rather stay in a hotel and let the spiders keep to their space and me to mine.
Chat soon cuz!
Wow...Freaky spider that keeps coming back... *shivers*
I've had a number of encounters with spiders, rain spiders mostly, but my worst are parktown prawns. Oh. My. WORD. They freak me out. And the worst was when my stepdad wasn't at home to take care of them for me.
I was alone at home one night, and I was lying in bed when I heard a scuttling sound behind my bed. One of my cats that was curled up at my feet heard it too and was on him in a flash. I was relieved. But that was short-lived. Because my cats don't seem to like killing things like Parktown prawns. They like to play with them. and then they lose interest. And then they go back to sleep, leaving the slightly injured, but still alive Paktown prawn crawling around my room. At least I could hear that it was pretty messed up, I could actually hear it dragging its one leg along the floor, so at least I knew it wouldn't be able to jump onto my bed. And the cats stayed with me, so I knew that if the thing tried to get onto the bed their interest would (hopefully) be piqued again, and they wouldn't let it crawl all over me. *shivers again*
Anyways, that was just one of they many encounters I've had with them.
Loving the blog so far, by the way :)
Back to reading for me.
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