Living with ADHD

My boy is 11 years old and was diagnosed (correctly before some of you go off about different methods of treating this) with ADHD a while ago. He is on meds (yes it's what he needs) and they work well.

I read this article posted on Parent24.com today and I want to share it with you.


So what's going on inside an ADHDer's brain, an ADHDers nervous system...?

I have never been diagnosed with ADHD, nor am I on any kind of treatment, but there is no doubt in my mind that I do indeed have ADHD, most likely the combined type, definitely with hyperactivity.

I have wished so many times that my darling knucklehead could explain to me what it feels like to be in his head, but he isn't able to do so. I have found a few adult ADHDer blogs and its an incredible eye-opener to read them because it gives me a little bit of insight into how my boy's mind works, and I am grateful for that...

But every now and then I catch myself doing something that I know I should make a note of for others to learn from... but I just don't get around to it!

Then last night, I was sitting in the kitchen working on my admin, and I had a blasted earworm! I honestly can't remember the song that was chomping its way through my brain, but I do remember having to consciously and repeatedly focus on repressing the insane urge to belt out the chorus at full volume there in my kitchen with my hubby watching TV and working on his laptop in the lounge behind me! He would have had a heart attack!

Now if I was battling (and I was successful but I had to really work at it) not to blurt out a song at the top of my voice, can you imagine how hard it is for a schoolchild who has not had years of learning impulse control like my 38 year old self has!??

Does it sound far-fetched?

If you think about it I am sure you can remember your own ADHDer suddenly yelling out some random string of words or a TV show battle cry or a song- completely out of context and completely inappropriately- and wondering where it came from or what brought it on!?

How about this one as food for thought. I will be sitting on the couch watching TV, or lying in bed reading, believing I am completely relaxed and calm, and I will get the weirdest sensation in my leg (or both legs) that will NOT go away unless I move. And not just move or change position, I have to make several repetitive movements- twitching, kicking, bouncing, anything- to stop the tingle. Its like my bone is vibrating and I have to move to stop  it.

Sound crazy?

Imagine a child feeling the same thing. How is a youngster going to stay in his seat or stand still in line when a feeling in his own legs is about to send him round the twist!!??

I'm not making excuses for bad or inappropriate behaviour, and with a little maturity and learning it can be "controlled", but perhaps the next time you're dealing with some strange outburst or unexplainable behaviour, you might remember this blog post and realise that they really can't always help themselves- their bodies sometimes do things before their brains have a chance to put the brakes on.





I so agree with this woman! I know there is lots of behaviour that happens that just can't be explained. My boy struggles to remember things and struggles to focus ... even with his meds. It's actually hard for me to explain this to other people who've never had to deal with an ADHD child. Most just don't understand and are convinced that the child is just rude or misbehaving. But that isn't the case. And no, I'm not trying to make excuses for my child either. He has to learn to control himself just like the rest of us had to. He is disciplined when I can see its not an ADHD thing. Social skills are taught not by words, but by actions .... and let me tell you something.... its hard to always show actions that teach the correct thing ... we are but human.

Anyway, thought it might make for interesting reading - look forward to your feedback if you have any :)

xxx
M

"One Day You Will"

- to my friend - you know who you are ... this song made me think of you...

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

One day you will

Look through my eyes ...

There are things in life you'll learn and
In time you'll see
Cause out there somewhere
It's all waiting
If you keep believing
So don't run, don't hide
It will be all right
You'll see, trust me
I'll be there watching over you

Just take a look through my eyes
There's a better place
somewhere out there
Just take a look through my eyes
Everything changes
You'll be amazed what you'll find
If you look through my eyes

There will be times on this journey
All you'll see is darkness
Out there somewhere daylight finds you
If you keep believing

So don't run, don't hide
It will be all right
You'll see, trust me
I'll be there watching over you

All the things that you can change
There's a meaning in everything
And you will find all you need
There's so much to understand

Just take a look through my eyes
There's a better place
somewhere out there
Just take a look through my eyes
Everything changes
You'll be amazed what you'll find
If you look through my eyes

Summer is almost here...

Ok well, this is Cape Town and our weather changes more often than most people change their underwear! Apparently summer is meant to be here already, but I'm hard pressed to say that it has finally arrived.

Part of me is dreading the impending heat - something that I don't enjoy that much ... I'm more of a "spring has sprung" kinda girl. However, the joy of summer time is the awesome food and delightful social times with friends!

I've started doing meals, sandwiches and salads for people recently and its going pretty well actually. Its slow going to get it all up and running. Building a client base up of people is hard work, but I'm getting there.

The first thing I did was plan a menu and then source packaging for it. I found a fantastic company called Green Home that supplies biodegradable food packaging. Now I have to tell you that I have approached a few other packaging companies over the last few months and I've been so disappointed with the response that I've received. One company sent a rep to see me and after three weeks of waiting for a quotation I eventually sent the manager an email voicing my disappointment. I did receive my email after that, but the damage has been done and I don't want to use them. So I wasn't holding out much hope when I contacted Green Home asking to see samples.

However, I was soon to be pleasantly surprised! I was contacted by a delightful lady called Alison who immediately set up a meeting with me at my office. She arrived with another rep, also named Alison. They took such interest in the vision and dream for the future that Annely and I have for Treacle Studio as well as what I am currently doing with the meals, sarmies and other goodies. They made me feel like I wasn't a small fry client but someone special that warranted great service. For this, ladies, I am truly grateful and you now have a client for life!

Yes the product is a little more expensive than other non-green products, but the point is that if we're going for a certain feel to our brand then we need to make sure we package correctly too. Its about the bigger picture. So I'm all for going green as I believe many people are. I have a friend who mentioned that she won't buy certain well known products because they're not packaged in biodegradable packaging. Amazing how something that seems so simple can make a difference in how people buy.

So, these are the menu's I put together:

You'll notice I've mentioned "vouchers" on these. Well as you know we are obviously all going through interesting times financially and we all have to budget budget budget. So to help with that, I've come up with a sort of "coupon" idea. You can budget what you want to spend on bought in meals for the month ahead and purchase those "vouchers" from me ahead of time. This not only helps with the budget but allows you to plan meals ahead without the hassle of having to worry about cash at the time of purchase. All the meals are great for the freezer too.

So as you can see, I'm still being a busy bee. When times get tough, I get industrious :)

If any of you are interested in finding out more, email me on meegyn@treaclestudio.co.za

xxx
M

I'd rather be a whale!

I received this email from a friend at work today and I just love it! Had to share ....

      A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

Love it love it love it!!!

xxx

M

Markets, Busy Weekends and other ramblings

I feel like I've been at the gym all weekend actually exercising! Something which, if you know me well enough, you'd know I wouldn't do. No, I'd prefer to curl up with a good book!

Why do I feel like this, I hear you ask? Well, Treacle Studio had a three day Festive Fair/Market this weekend at Hathersage Farm in Somerset West.  It was great, but exhausting to say the least. Lugging things to and from our vehicles takes its toll on ones old bones. I made enough scones that if I see another one any time soon I may be physically ill. We also sold enough pancakes to feed a moderately sized village of starving people. So I'm doubting that making more pancake batter anytime soon will be in the cards.

It was interesting to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a while. Someone even had the audacity to tell me I'm obviously so happy and eating so well that I've gotten fat. Now I know I'm no supermodel and I love my food so much that the chances of getting down to a size "a" (aka anorexic) is way beyond my grasp. I know I'm overweight and could stand to loose a few kilograms. But when someone with the tact of a doorknob comes and tells you while trying to be very sweet about it and claiming to be a friend who cares, its hard not to want to reach over and bitch slap them upside the head. This is besides the fact that we never see each other and haven't in years and when we did we weren't exactly joined at the hip either AND she doesn't know about the thyroid and type-2 diabetic issues. I can still take it from someone that truly knows me and has for years, but not from someone like this.

Of course I'm way too diplomatic to be bitch slapping anyone in public. The restraint is pure torture at times, but worth it. However, being sarcastic is my best defence with any threat that comes my way. There is something to be said about saying something that seems so innocent but has quadruple meanings and is dripping with sarcasm. Its very helpful when dealing with stupid people on any level. Sadly though not everyone gets that kind of "humour" and its generally WAY over many peoples heads.

I also find it interesting to watch peoples reactions to seeing me again after such a long time. Previously they would avoid eye contact and ignore me as if I were some sort of sort of pariah. Now they see me, smile and say hi - still with caution though. I find it hilarious actually. Small minded people who don't know how to do anything other than being lead like mindless sheep. I'll still greet them, be friendly and will continue to just be me. I'm done with doing what others want me to do and live in a box of their making. Its claustrophobic in there and your heart dies.


Its sad how many people allow their wings to be clipped and even broken, allowing others to dictate how they should live and what they should think. Is it easier for them to be mindless and just conform? Are they just too lazy to be themselves - be the individuals that God made them to be? Or are people just too scared to go against what someone "powerful" says they should do because they think it will make them an outcast? Everyone has a fear of being rejected, so I guess the latter question could be the problem the majority of people have.


The problem with the "powerful" is that they are more often than not just bullies who revel in dictating and being in control. And they can't deal with it when someone actually stands up to them and says "your ass in a glass buddy - not happening"


Standing up for what you believe in and living your life as you feel it should be lived - those are not easy choices to make. Especially if you've been used to just leaving all those choices up to someone else instead of making them yourself. But you know what? Even someone like that can grow a backbone and finally take a stand. Its a mindset at the end of the day. Why would you want to give someone else the power to dictate your lifestyle, happiness, beliefs or choices. It's not their life to live ... its yours. And you alone will answer for the choices you make in your life.

The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.

-Volume Two (1934-1939) The Diary of Anais Nin

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
― Paulo Coelho

“Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly.”
― Paulo Coelho

“I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It's all a question of how I view my life.”
― Paulo Coelho

So..... how do you view your life?

xxx
M

King of Anything

Keep drinking coffee
Stare me down across the table
While I look outside

So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet
And count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to them
But I never asked

So let me thank you for your time
And try to not waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
You swear you know best

But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you
Ride off into your delusional sunset

I'm not the one who's lost
With no direction
But you won't ever see

You're so busy makin' maps
With my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down just not the listening

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn
To decide

Let me hold your crown, babe

(Sara Bareilles)

The lyrics of this song reminded me of a few people I have known in the past .... those of you that know me will know what I mean ;)
xxx